Coaching Through Your Own Imposter Monster
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Ever felt Imposter Syndrome? I bet you have. Research says over 70% of high achieving individuals deal with Imposter Syndrome, and I bet for coaches this percentage is higher.
I was 15 years into my career when I first realized that I had Imposter Syndrome. At that time, I was a healthcare executive with a thriving career and yet felt the negative effects of Imposter Syndrome – fear of exposure of being a fraud, a sense of low self-worth, and identifying luck instead of skill in any accomplishment achieved. It almost derailed me until I learned how to recognize it and challenge my limiting beliefs around it.
Definition of Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome, or "Imposter Phenomenon," was described by Drs. Clance and Imes in 1978, as a condition in which a person feels as though they are an imposter and have persistent fears around being discovered as such. They don't view themselves as talented, competent, or capable the way others may see them. It can further manifest into various archetypes according to Dr. Valerie Young.
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The Perfectionist
The perfectionist is someone who sets almost impossible standards of expectations on the quality of the work they do. The work must be flawless and failure is never an option, so any signs of either lead the person to believe that their efforts are worthless unless perfect.The Super-person
The super-person feels compelled to excel in everything and showcase that they are extremely well-rounded. Anything less means, in their minds, that they are less than and thus not worthy of accolades.The Natural Genius
The natural genius believes that either their IQ must be high or else they are an automatic phony. They feel a need to constantly prove their intelligence and showcase their natural gifts or else they believe they are a fraud if they must learn something new.The Soloist
The soloist distrusts support systems and other people helping them succeed. They believe others' contributions diminish their achievements and that they must excel on their own, otherwise they are incompetent.The Expert
The expert believes that until they know absolutely everything about a subject, they cannot claim expertise of knowledge in a particular area. They struggle with transitioning to new ideas and approaches or claiming authority in any niche.
Fast forward to 2019 when I shifted from an executive role to an executive coach, the "imposter monster" showed up again. The imposter monster is an imaginary character inside of me that has its own commentary trying to hold me back from taking uncomfortable and difficult actions. The commentary included:
- "You are not good enough to be a coach so stop trying"
- "You are never going to get coaching clients once they discover what a phony you are"
- "Don't market yourself as a coach as you are going to make a fool of yourself"
Initially when starting my coaching business, I could relate to a combination of the various imposter archetypes as listed above. When I was coaching clients, sometimes the "expert" showed up and told me I wasn't qualified to coach them. When I was working on elements of marketing in the business, especially with writing blogs, the "perfectionist" showed up and told me that I needed multiple re-writes before publishing anything in social media or on my website.
I have heard from many coaches who have heard similar inner voices. And yet, like myself, we have embarked on creating successful coaching businesses that have proven these inner negative voices wrong.
I have successfully been able to coach myself through my own Imposter Monster and you can too.
iCAN Coaching Method
I developed the iCAN method to successfully get me through the archetypes of the Expert and Perfectionist, and it can be used for the other ones as well. Try it the next time negative self-talk kicks in. Here are the steps to take.
"I" – Individual
This refers to you, the coach who CAN do great things and excel in the role of being a great coach.
"C" – Change the Narrative
Start by writing down all the internal dialogue in your head. What is the negative character saying to you? Remember, that voice is a part of you, but it's not all of you. There are other voices there to combat it as well. Use those other voices to counteract the negative story you are hearing. Create a different one that includes why you got into coaching, how you are qualified to be in it, and what you plan to do to succeed in it.
"A" – Affirm Your Achievements
The Imposter Monster may be trying to tell you that luck alone is responsible for you getting into coaching. To invalidate this, record all the past achievements you've had in your career and how they relate to you being able to be a great coach. Ask colleagues, mentors, friends, and family to tell you about the achievements they have seen and recognized. This reflection and feedback will help validate how you got to where you are now as a function of skill and expertise, not luck.
"N" – Notate Your Why, What, and How
Think through why coaching is important to you. What's motivating you to excel in it? How can you channel your strengths towards success in coaching?
The next time the imposter monster voice goes loud, try the iCAN method and drop me a line to let me know how it worked for you.
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About the Author
Aashi Arora, MHA, PCC is a graduate of the College of Executive Coaching who quickly built a thriving executive coaching practice. Aashi shares some of her strategies in the College of Executive Coaching's Niche Marketing for Coaches Course.
